This post is a step forward. I’m here with a blog – that no one knows exists. And quite frankly, maybe no one ever will know exists. (I feel I should leave a letter to be opened in the case of my death for someone to find this and read what was really going on in my head all these years.)
Back to the point, this is a step forward because I’m about to post about eating disorder recovery. There, I’ve said it. I’ve posted (or am about to post) on the worldwide web about my eating disorder. “What if someone reads your blog and knows who you are?” whispers the little voice in my head.
And, so what? I often want to shout it to the world, “I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER.” No one knows. No one knows the battle I’ve fought entirely – continue to fight. I tell people often there is one thing I would tattoo on my body. When they ask what it is, I never answer. It is the eating disorder recovery symbol. One day I want to wear it with pride.
Back to my point, today I read an article postulating about a possible new form of eating disorders, orthorexia – obsession with healthy eating. It intrigued me, because as I fight daily to recover I fear that opposite extreme. This says it all: “Food has become presented—more and more—as the answer.”
The solution isn’t in the food – eating or not eating or overeating or purging or exercising. The answer is in balance.