I’ll never forget the first time I saw myself – really saw myself – in the mirror.
With just two days to go to Thanksgiving, I must be honest that I’m getting nervous. This is my first Thanksgiving that I’m not in therapy. I don’t have a safety net of someone to fall back on. I’m not just getting through and if it falls apart someone will be there to pick me back up. This is me.
I am strangely alone and not all at the same time.
Holidays are a challenge for me – and it isn’t just about the bird. My mom is bipolar. The family dynamic is a challenge. I never know quite how things are going to go down.
Today I’m grateful for me. I’m grateful I am where I am today. I’m grateful to myself for:
- Never giving up.
- Being brave.
- Knowing that it is worth it.
- Learning to accept the setbacks.
- Growing through the mistakes.
- Not expecting it to go perfectly.
- Being proud of myself.
- Loving myself.
The truth is Thanksgiving is another day. It might go well. It might be a challenge. I may have a rough day. But it is just another day. The purpose of Thanksgiving isn’t to do it perfectly. It is to try my best… but not to eat perfectly or make it through without messing up. It is to try my best no matter what comes – to be there for myself even if I do mess up. The challenge is not to avoid failure; it is not to leave myself alone come what may.
That – and to be grateful. On Thanksgiving, amidst all the emotions, smiles, food, family, tears, and emotions – I want to at least be grateful. That is what it is all about.
And I’m going to do that with myself. I’ve got me and I’m so grateful to me for not giving up on myself. We got this!