Uncles

So I have three uncles who I am close[ish] to. They are pretty great. And the truth is there is really no one in this world like an uncle.

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I tell each of them they they are [one of] my favorite uncle[s].

But the truth is I wouldn’t be the same without them:

  • They are your parents’ siblings. Basically they love your parents unconditionally, but they also have known them at their worst. In a nutshell, they are realistic about who they are. So you can call a spade a spade without having to sugarcoat it or risk the other person hating your parents. With an uncle you can gripe about your parents, they will agree and they will still love them because they are their siblings. My dad is a pretty intense individual. It has been really healing over the years to have my uncles validate those feelings of not being listened to, being invisible, or not being able to participate in a conversation. At the same time, they’ve helped me to realize that it isn’t personal. It is just the way he is.
  • They truly want your best but aren’t personally vested in how you turn out. The truth is, we are a reflection of our parents. So as much as they strive to be open minded, our parents are inevitably let down or disappointed in some of our decision. Uncles have a much more detached vision of our lives – they love us unconditionally and want our best, but it is easier for them to be open minded. This makes them great sounding boards.
  • They are family… We share the same DNA so they are often like-minded and it takes a lot less effort to explain oneself.
  • They are FUN! Some of my greatest memories are with my uncles. The cool thing is your parents trust them unconditionally if you are in their care, but in reality maybe they shouldn’t. 🙂
  • You can’t overstay a visit. They are family so you are always welcome and it is never weird.
  • They make holidays so much more bearable. They understand the dynamics and can be a great and supporting presence.
  • They truly value your opinion. My uncles are some of the greatest listeners, but it isn’t only because they care about me. They actually want to hear what I have to say.

I truly admire my uncles. I have a unique relationship with each of them, but I trust them, I can be myself around them, and I am truly loved by them.

I’ve shared with each of them to varying degrees about my personal life. They aren’t scandalized. They don’t press. And they don’t gossip.

They love you for who you are, and expect nothing in return.

 

 

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