Sometimes life is just busy… recovering from the stomach flu, finishing a ten page research paper, trying to catch up on laundry, marathon training, late nights, surprising the parents for breakfast early Sunday morning after dropping off a colleague at the airport on four hours of sleep… You know, a day in the life.
On a few late nights recently I’ve stopped by the mailbox – sometimes dreading the cold and other times marveling at the temperate weather – oh and staring in awe at the full moon. (You always look for the full moon when you are an educator – because the kids go CRAZY!)
And I have received not one, not two, but seven snail mail treasures in the last few weeks. Between that an a small Amazon problem I may have, I think I’m actually beating the bills hands down. Snail mail is one of my favorite things. Those little treasures mean more than ever in this day and age when to shoot an email or a text response is so convenient.
And this particular month it was such a support to feel myself so LOVED that these people took time out of their busy lives to send me a little love. Not only their words and their time but many of the packages contained meaningful gifts that they had thought of just for me.
Of course I tell them thank you… But perhaps they will never know the true weight of their kindness. Because as I’ve learned to love myself, I’ve also learned to let others love me. I’ve learned to recognize and accept their love and kindness and to feel good about being loved.
Looking back, these people have always been there. They have stood by me and most of them knew my story without me having to tell them. For so long I felt so alone. And I still certainly have moments of loneliness, but beyond a shadow of a doubt I know I am loved.
But most surprising of all, had I not been through all I’ve been through, I’m not sure they could love me as I am because I probably wouldn’t have let them. All the pain and all the challenges I’ve faced have made me very vulnerable. And through healing I’ve learned to let people in.
I can’t tell you how many people in the past year have told me that I am more at ease, more approachable, calmer. And I could not have gotten here without the process I have been through.
God writes straight with crooked lines.