Leap year…

That extra day really threw me off. And I feel like I’m just getting my feet back under me after being away from blogging for ten days. I write blog posts in my head while I drive, but it is funny how they don’t actually materialize. So many blog post ideas… so little time.

Ten days for what?

  • A glorious two day ski trip
  • Yet another snow day
  • One day at my desk playing catch up/preplanning
  • Packing for three trips within two weeks
  • Five days at Mundelein Seminary in the northern suburbs of Chicago
  • Very, very few hours of sleep
  • Old Friends
  • New Friends
  • Prayer
  • Finishing one master’s course
  • Beginning another
  • Deep, meaningful conversations
  • Reflections – so many reflections
  • Dropping out of my marathon due to international travel plans
  • Outdoor runs (thank you, Spring!)
  • Voting

And much, much more. (To say I’m tired is an understatement.)

What would I do with a whole extra day? This year I spent it skiing (which was work but I really can’t complain now, can I?). But I would suggest that we should just have leap day as an extra day in our lives. We should treat it as a free day on life… not just me – everyone!

How many days do I wish I had 48 hours to the day instead of just 24. And this is coming from a girl who is on the go for a good 18 hours a day. Time just seems to fly by. This article inspired me to start keeping better track of how I use my time at work and it has been interesting. I am capable of a lot more than I thought I was. (And I consider myself a pretty focused person.)

But when you are recovering from an eating disorder, there is a lot of attention given to mindfulness. I am a person who tends to run everywhere. People often tell me they know I am coming because of my footsteps. So I’m constantly having to practice slowing down and letting myself feel things… external things (water in the shower, footsteps, the sun on my skin, the keys under my fingers as I type, the sunset, the sheets of my bed), yes… But much more importantly the internal things – the stress, worry about my mom and her current medical issues, embarrassment, regret, sadness, anger… and also happiness, contentment, peace, joy, etc. Because so much of an eating disorder is about avoiding feeling.

My life for the next three months is going to be intense. And I can’t slow it down much, but I can stop and enjoy. I can find moments to face myself and who I am. And I don’t have to go through life running from myself. Yes, the next three months will have me running from Northern Michigan, to Canada, to Korea, to Notre Dame, to Rome… but I will go with myself.

Because whether or not I have an extra day or not, I always have myself.

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