Why We Get Out of Bed…

This post made me stop and think… a lot…

I love her writing and she has a way of saying the right thing right when I need to hear it.

Why did I get out of bed this morning?

After a much needed 10 hours of sleep… After running on a quarter tank for weeks… What is today?

I’ve spent so much of the last (how many?) years running… literally and figuratively… I roll out of bed in my workout clothes, ready to make my bed, grab my bag and head straight to the gym… Looking at emails on my phone as I head out the door… God forbid there be a moment of pause in which all those emotions I fear might creep in…

And so begins every day… panic sets in when the calendar isn’t full… Avoiding myself like the plague… not because of me… but because of what’s inside of me, that constantly threatens to emerge and… what? I don’t even care to know. I’ll just keep running.

This morning was different. I woke up in pajamas. No clear plans until the evening. Having moved on from the job that was my “legitimate” excuse to never slow down, never leave the phone aside, never…

Why did I get out of bed?

Not because of the laundry, the errands, and the home that needs cleaning…

Why did I get out of bed?

Because I believe everything I do has meaning.

Because I know I am worth the still uncomfortable down time.

Because I believe God has a plan for my life and this semi-lonely day is part of that plan.

Because I’m learning not to be afraid of those feelings.

Because I’m learning how to become whole.

Because I want to run… not from the past… but towards the future.

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